Category Archives: Personal

Suddenly

Posted on by
1

Today I was listening to random music on my iPod and Superchick came on with their song Suddenly (lyrics are at the end of this post).  I’ve heard it before but today I really listened to the words and realized how close it hit home for me over the past 2 years.  ”She wonders if she’s where she’s supposed to be“, is a question I’ve asked myself several times and not so suddenly but over time God continues to affirm I am where I’m supposed to be.  I know I’ll still have days (weeks? months?) when I’ll ask that question over and over but I know God will continue to love me even through my questions.

“Scared of what she might lose if she moves away from who she was“.   God is stripping away the layers of selfishness, dependency and comforts of this life and relayering me with the fruits of the Holy Spirit.  I’m still such a complete mess but “skies will clear and the light will find her where she’s always been”…wrapped in God’s loving arms.

Lyrics to Superchick’s Suddenly song:

She feels lost in her own life
Treading water just to keep from slipping under
And she wonders if she’s where she’s supposed to be
Tired of trying to do it right
Her dreams are just too far away to see how steps she’s making
Might be taking her to who she’ll be

Chorus:
And suddenly it isn’t what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly I am where I’m supposed to be
And after all the tears I was supposed to be here

She feels locked in her own life
Scared of what she might lose if she moves away from who she was
And she’s afraid of being free
There’s a way she knows is right
She can’t feel the things she knows
And so each step she’s taking is a step of faith toward who she’ll be

Chorus

And here where the night is darkest black
She feels the fear and the light is farthest back
And through her tears she can’t see the dawn is coming
Skies will clear and the light will find her where she’s always been.

Chorus

 

Let me get this straight!?

Posted on by
Reply

Seems there are no straight lines or smooth surfaces in our area of Kenya.  From uneven floors to lopsided doors to wavy walls.  From rough grout lines in the tile to cement rough walls to ceiling board that is peeling.  It doesn’t normally bother me, but then I do have my days.  Yesterday I had to have a fundi (craftsman) come to the house to fix our front door (again) because the latch was extremely difficult to shut and I’m getting too old to fight with my front door!  Then today I had to clean off a portion of our grout and it’s so rough the paper towel kept ripping without cleaning and I eventually had to use a brush to clean it.  Then arriving at C4KK our shelving unit had been delivered:

I wanted to start organizing right away but will have to wait because the unit is wobbly, doesn’t sit close enough to the wall to be sturdy and the floor is rocky so I’m afraid all my organizational skills will be on the floor if the unit falls over.  We’ll be securing it to the walls tomorrow and then I can get to organizing.  I also brought all my neat containers to further organize the mess I have!

Straight and smooth isn’t necessarily a big problem, just one of those little nuisances that gets under my skin every once in a while.

 

 

What’s in a name?

Posted on by
1

Recently we’ve added a new addition to our family.  Before I get into her story let me tell you about Bella.  Unfortunately Bella went m.i.a. about 2 months ago, just a month or so after Puss (another cat on the compound) became pregnant.  I’ve wanted a girl cat since before Bella and was told Bella was a girl, hence the name Bella, until we realized Bella had”extra” equipment!   Not to sound cold but since Bella has been missing I asked Pauline if I could have a girl kitten, which she said I could have my pick of the litter.

Once the kittens were born I began my watch to see which one tugged my heart strings.  Then I was told Puss had 3 girls and one boy (or so I’m told) so my lot was narrowed by one.  I began thinking of cute girl names…Princess, Chuck said that was too obvious but I said “well if she turns out to be a boy we can always call her ‘the cat formerly known as princess’”!  Then I thought sweet pea or shimmer (for her pretty silver coat) but once I spent some time with her I thought viper or spit fire was a better fit because whenever she saw us she would hiss and spit like nobodies business!

Finally it came down to (drum roll please) Spunk, which she has a lot of and it works for both a girl or a boy!

Spunk is learning the lay of the land/house and Patches does not like her one bit!  I’m hoping he will get used to her but I believe, like Bella, as he matures he too will look for females elsewhere and leave the comforts of his home.   As for now, we keep watch over Spunk whenever Patches is around and we know when he’s around because of his loud growling and hissing!  He’s swiped at her twice with no ill affects and Spunk, being true to her name, continues trying to make friends.

Well, thanks for listening to my cat story!

Change of plans

Posted on by
Reply

One attribute I tell anyone looking to go on a missionary trip is to be flexible.  We’ve worked on the mission field in Phoenix, LA, NYC, Mexico, Kenya and places in between and each of those experiences needed flexibility.  Yesterday I left you with the “plan” which we would be heading up to C4KK today to fix the water pump….stay flexible here….as soon as I hit the “publish” button on the blog I found out the repairman didn’t want to meet until Monday.  Then it was time to figure out what the kids would do for water today. Normally Roman isn’t around on Sundays but he said he would stick around and help get the kids’ water supply for today.  God bless you Roman!

I also remember telling you in yesterday’s blog that our Sabbath’s were mainly “moments” not full days.  I’m not telling you this next part for sympathy, just an explanation.  Last night I had one doozy of a migraine…throwing up, head pounding, unable, or I should say unwilling, to move my head.  Thankfully Chuck was there to hold my hair (ladies you get me, right!?) and help me finally settle down.  But the reason I tell you that is because God worked it out for us to have a full day of rest today and after last night I needed it.

Back to the flexible part, making plans isn’t necessarily a bad thing it’s just making sure the people involved, especially those accustomed to making plans and having them go through smoothly, understand many times on the mission field plans do not go as planned!  Be sure to allow yourself to stay open to the directing of the Holy Spirit and let God work out the details, whether they are in the plan or not!

Yummy mangoes

Posted on by
Reply

Mangoes are back in season and that’s a happy time for me because they are DELICIOUS!  Whether sliced on a plate or blended with banana and vanilla yogurt

image

What a wonderful surprise arriving home tonight and receiving these sweet mangoes! Thank you Pauline. I can’t wait for breakfast!

Happenstance?

Posted on by
Reply

I’m not one for coincidence, more God-incidence.  I believe God can use any and all circumstances for His glory and when something comes into my line of sight that seems to be coincidental I take notice.  I certainly do not “catch” every detail, but attempt to see God in it.  A few days ago our electricity went out (big surprise, right?!).  It was nighttime and yes I had high hopes it would turn back on before bed so I decided to open up my Nook Color and test out the wi-fi aspect of it.  This might not sound like a big deal to you BUT using the wi-fi on my phone drains the battery quickly and that is my only option for connecting the Nook to wi-fi…I decided to live on the edge and just do it!

I opened up a couple of apps to see what they were all about.  One of them was Faith’s Checkbook and the daily devotional that came up was extremely timely and thought I’d share with you.  It was definitely a “thank you God” moment for me!

From Charles Spurgeon’s “Faith’s Checkbook”

God Always Hears
January 31
My God will hear me. (Micah 7:7)

Friends may be unfaithful, but the Lord will not turn away from the gracious soul; on the contrary, He will hear all its desires. The prophet says, “Keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. A man’s enemies are the men of his own house.” This is a wretched state of affairs; but even in such a case the Best Friend remains true, and we may tell Him all our grief.
Our wisdom is to look unto the Lord and not to quarrel with men or women. If our loving appeals are disregarded by our relatives, let us wait upon the God of our salvation, for He will hear us – He will hear us all the more because of the unkindness and oppression of others, and we shall soon have reason to cry, “Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy!”
Because God is the living God, He can hear; because He is a loving God, He will hear; because He is our covenant God, He has bound Himself to hear us. If we can each one speak of Him as “My God,” we may with absolute certainty say, “My God will hear me.” Come, then, O bleeding heart, and let thy sorrows tell themselves out to the Lord thy God! I will bow the knee in secret and inwardly whisper, “My God will hear me.”

YES!  My God will hear me but I have to remember that along with hearing me He is also teaching me so I must listen too!  How does the saying go?  I have one mouth but two ears…so I should be listening twice as much as talking, but it’s nice knowing God hears every utterance of my sorrow, grief, worship, praise and yes, even foolishness.

Settling down

Posted on by
Reply

Needless to say, or maybe I do need to say since I haven’t really said too much about it (except a little here), the past week or so has been stressful.  Not that simply living in a foreign country/culture isn’t stress enough ;) but what with getting the kids into secondary school, shopping for them all, wondering if funds would cover it (thank you to those who helped…shopping and fees are covered!) it made for long days.  Not to mention the bumpy, dusty roads getting the kids to school!  It’s one of those things though where I knew it would come to an end eventually and that helped, knowing it wasn’t a continual thing.  We still have 2 more girls to get into school  and then all our new secondary students will be in school….yeah God!

I had mentioned in another blog post that I was looking forward to the end of the busyness so things could settle down.  A friend actually laughed (ok, she put lol in her email!) and thought that was a funny way to end.  I never really thought about it until she mentioned it….my sense of normality has certainly changed and the “stress” of not knowing if electricity will stay on, or when it will turn off, whether or not water will flow or even just plans for the day are really not stressers any longer.  I’m not saying I jump up and down for joy when the electricity goes off, I only do that when it comes back on!  We simply turn on the flash light and wait.

God continues to teach me more and more how to rely on Him, making Him my confidant, allowing His Spirit to guide and in the same manner chipping away those things which get in the way of His purpose for me, allowing our relationship to be even stronger.  As the saying goes, I’m a work in process!

 

 

A bit calmer today

Posted on by
Reply

Actually I’m a lot calmer today compared to yesterday, thanks to prayer (not only my heart cries, but friends lifting me up) .  Today I haven’t heard anything from the student and I’m hoping that means he is back at school and staying!

It didn’t hurt either that I had three packages come in the mail so I got to end my day on a high note opening care packages which included pepperoni, Crystal Light drink mix, movies, beef jerky, Starbucks coffee and a few other items.  Thank you friends and family for sending the items!

I know life gives us all ups and downs and will continue to be that way until our final breath this side of Heaven.  My own personal issue is how to deal with those downs in a Christ-like manner and how to continue leaning on God during the ups.

“Two things I ask of you, LORD;
do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God.  Proverbs 30:7-9 (NIV)

 

What’s in a day?

Posted on by
Reply

I’m trying to write a blog post every day…doesn’t always happen but I’m trying!  Seems some days just don’t seem worth the ink on paper (or bytes on computer?).  Not saying anything depressing, simply it’s life as usual and do you really want to hear about my day?  Today you don’t get a choice, here it is!

This week I’ve been at C4KK most days, thankfully there is electricity there so I can work on the computer throughout the day and coordinate with Ann on various items and see the kitchen being stocked and many other every day things, which I really like.  But today I am staying home for a couple of reasons.

One, it’s pizza day and pizza ingredients need to be prepared, which doesn’t take me all day but I hate the thought of coming home around 6pm and THEN starting the prep work and finally eating around 9pm…don’t like it.  This reminds me too, I am out of ham, on my last portion of mozzarella cheese and have 2 more cans of mushrooms which means a trip to Nairobi is in order to get these items :(

Two, I need to do some cleaning.  I’m not in the mood to do a full mop of the floors so perhaps a simple sweeping, cleaning the bathrooms and that’s it.  Update:  cleaned the bathrooms but didn’t sweep….spiders get a reprieve for a few days.

Three, I felt like vegging out today.  My mind went to mush this morning as I did my nails and watched something about 25 best/worst plastic surgeries in Hollywood!

Now as I write this post the electricity has gone out.  We’ve been pretty lucky lately in that it seems to stay off only a very short time, so far it’s been 20 minutes and my battery on my computer is quickly dwindling.  Update:  electricity came back on approximately an hour later and I decided to bake some brownies a friend sent :)

Boring, right?  Well, it’s life for me today here in Kenya…I am, however, thankful for the beautiful sun shinning in my window, the cool breeze coming in, the fact my pizza prep doesn’t involve electricity (hopefully it will be on so we can actually cook the pizza!), the time I had this morning with the Lord, the encouragement of His word and for this day, boring or not!

Oh what to write

Posted on by
1

Seems I have much to say but nothing I really want to try and express….right now.  Frustrations abound.  Nothing really out of the ordinary but just things that make me scratch my head and think “what is going on here?”  Simple requests turn into ordeals (is there enough food to last three days?  Yup.  But then getting a call the next night – there’s no food)  Things like that tend to frustrate me.

The culture, food (or lack thereof), friendships (or lack thereof) seem to be frustrating me a lot lately.  It seems much of this stemmed from the Christmas celebration we had at C4KK.  It was wonderful seeing the kids have a good time and I think satan hated that.  So when he doesn’t like something it normally seems more tests are brought about from it.

So I just take one day at a time.  Attempt to give it to God.  Allow the Spirit to guide me.  Wait for His peace.  Walk towards Him.  Pray I pass the test, today and tomorrow.