Today was a day of giving some firm, yet loving advice (at least I pray it was taken that way). Shopping for first semester has been completed (a big expense that includes items such as a mattress, blankets, sheets, uniform, shoes, foot locker and other necessary items like soap, toilet paper, pens etc.) for the secondary students being helped by Saved By God’s Grace. We’ve made it clear to them to speak with their guardians/parents for any further shopping, miscellaneous items or medical issues throughout the year. We’ve had to reemphasize this “policy” to a couple of students over the past couple of weeks when they asked us for pocket money. They think they are the only one asking for 200/ksh for “fun money” so what’s the big deal…they don’t understand (although we try to explain) there are several other students who are also asking.
This morning was no different. I was asked by one student who spent the night with us Monday and returned to school Tuesday morning, after returning from his mid-term from school where he was home with his aunt for 3 days, if I could take him to the doctors to get a medical form filled out and some acne medication. I went through the discussion, again, and told him it wasn’t just him I was saying no to but all the students. I asked him why he hadn’t done this over break (which he was told to do), he said they visited family on Saturday, went to church on Sunday and then prepared to leave Monday. That was my opportunity to discuss personal responsibility. If he knew he needed the form filled out he should have made it a priority to have it filled out and talked to the doctor about acne medication. I told him he’d have to get it filled out next break and hopefully he won’t get into trouble for not having it now. Then he asked me for money to get his hair cut. Uugghh! Not sure he was comprehending the conversation.
Believe me I don’t enjoy telling him, or any of the other kids, no…but where does personal responsibility come into play? And how can you expect someone to take on additional responsibilities when they can’t even feed their family? Why, in this case, did the aunt accept responsibility if she wasn’t able to help? In another case why did a sibling take responsibility if he wasn’t willing to help but expected our help instead? And then I wonder even if I had the money to pay for all the school fees, shopping AND incidentals would that be right to just pay and not hold anyone (if there is anyone in the child’s life and that’s another post all together) responsible?
It’s all very frustrating and confusing trying to figure out who’s telling the truth and really needs help and who is just trying to take advantage. However, I also know God has given me a peace about these discussions, that yes it is ok to say no. After all, it’s His providence…I simply must pray for guidance, do His will and work within His provision.