Anger, hurt, feeling betrayed, unbelief, why come back, what am I doing here, who can we trust….
These are just a few of the feelings and thoughts running through my mind. We feel we’ve been betrayed by one of a very few we counted as friends here in Kenya (we can literally count the number of people we thought we could trust on one hand).
To make it worse (although sin is sin is sin and pastors sin just as easily as you and I) but this person is a church leader/preacher. Someone who professes a love of Jesus Christ….even in the midst of demanding money from us. I still have not been able to wrap my head around it….did this person have a gun put to their head? What lies did satan tell to get this demand out of their mouth? Or is this simply the heart of this person and we’ve been lied to all these years?
Please be assured this has NOTHING to do with any of the staff at C4KK Children’s Home. They are just as shocked as we are. We are hoping to speak directly to this person tomorrow (the demand came through a text message) and hear from their mouth what exactly was meant by the demand. It’s kind of hard though to misinterpret the text….I won’t sign the paper you need to return into the country of Kenya until you give me x amount of shillings. Lord what is going on!?
Then I settle in for my morning Bible study (Beth Moore’s David study) and reread the last paragraph of yesterday’s lesson:
You and I have a “friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24) for “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Mo matter what happens, no matter who rejects you or humiliates you, He will never betray you. Stay faithful, believer. You are on the winning team. The King of all kings will return and take His rightful throne.
This gives me strength to move onto another day, to let God control whether or not we are allowed back into the country, to soften my heart to forgive (not forget, but forgive and move on), to pray for this person.
I ask for your prayers as we move through these emotions and seek resolution. Satan seems to be working overtime knowing we are leaving Kenya….wouldn’t it be so easy to simply say, because of this betrayal, why should I even return? It’s a matter of time before others we trust will betray us too. But Jesus Christ died on the cross for all and He has called me to Kenya to show His love through living here, how can I refuse to return?
I am on the winning team and God will triumph!