The feeling of failing miserably has been hanging around me for some time. How can I go to God with my pleas, expect an answer yet not regularly read His Word?
We are attempting to teach accountability, responsibility and respect to the staff and kids through reminders (don’t forget to get the inventory done by next week), corrections (would a professed Christian lie to and cheat others?) and example (be on time for the tutors) yet who is holding me accountable?
I feel I am left to the whims of my own sinful nature and that certainly will not hold me accountable. I’ve learned the importance of small groups, Bible studies, retreats, life groups, coffee dates, friends gathering…which are all forms of accountability. Sure I can make excuses….I don’t want this to sound pitiful but honestly I simply do not have real friends here, friends who are willing to hold me accountable and share ideas of what God may be trying to do in our lives (other than Chuck but women friends would be a blessing too!). But shouldn’t time alone with my God be motivation enough to spend time in His word? It should yet once again my sinful nature kicks in and I justify what I’m doing, or not doing.
Relying on “revelations” from God is not the way to live life….I know they will happen but listening to God through His word is living life daily with Him. Like sitting and chatting with a friend. I ask for your prayers that I would do that. Although I will fall short of His perfection for how He wants me to live my life, at least I will give Him the opportunity in a quiet, one-on-one basis to pour His love into me instead of expecting my Friend to help me without actually seeking or listening to His advice.