Boy oh boy….it is much easier to be content in Kenya rather than the US (in my personal opinion and experience). Why? Because when I don’t have all the choices I accept what’s available with no complaining or wanting more (ok, maybe just a wee bit of complaining!).
In Kenya we have no convenience stores just around the corner, no Wal-mart, Target, etc. When we buy groceries we head to a store about 12 miles away and choose from whatever products they have at the time (it’s about the size of a Circle K or 7-11 store). Here in the US I walk around the mall, Target, Wal-mart and I constantly find myself thinking “I want that” or “I could use this”….some may be legitimate but for me (and shopping was an issue several years ago) it fells like I’m falling into a deep pit.
Technology is another area where I struggle. It has always been fun for me and again, several years ago, I wanted (and usually got) the newest and coolest gadget. Today I still enjoy technology but in Kenya I don’t see the newest and coolest so it doesn’t even come into mind it’s something I want…..here the newest and coolest surround me at every store, commercial or ad.
I know it’s my attitude which needs changing and it shouldn’t be an ‘out of sight out of mind’ mentality but instead to have a complete contentment with where I am, what God has for me and joy for the purpose He shows me. My fulfillment must come from Him not the gadgets.
Coming back to the US I realize I haven’t really grown out of my selfish behaviors but instead I’m finding I’ve grown in my reliance on the Holy Spirit to guide my heart, be grateful for what I am given (because EVERYTHING we receive is from people who are moved to contribute) and accept this is one of my many struggles in running the race (Hebrews 12:1-3) and working out my salvation in fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12-13). It’s another avenue God uses in my heart to bring me closer to Him through prayer and throwing up my hands saying “Lord I want xxxx but please turn my heart back to You and show me how to take one more step with an unselfish attitude.”