(Read Part IX)
The first thing I remember is seeing Chuck by my side telling me everything would be alright. He told me what Dr. B had said and God had intervened in our lives in a miraculous way. I don’t recall feeling relieved about the cancer being gone because I still didn’t feel I had cancer (even to this day I tell everyone it’s Chuck’s cancer story not mine). But I felt relieved surgery was over. I accepted the news, I had cancer and now it was gone, but it would take a couple days to sink in.
Dr. B came in to talk to us and tell us about the biopsies and when we should expect the “official” diagnosis. He was pretty confident he had gotten all the cancer and excited to tell me how God had worked a miracle in this surgery. At this point I wasn’t even concerned about “what next” like chemo or radiation, God had given Chuck and I a peace about this particular test and it was finished.
Then I feel asleep!
After surgery I was given a morphine drip for the pain, but during the afternoon and into the evening I didn’t feel any real pain. It felt like I had done a ton of sit-ups and my stomach muscles were sore but not painful. The nurses took note that I wasn’t using any of the pain medication and called Dr. B to inform him. He came in that evening and told me not to be a “big girl” and it was ok to take the medication, it would only be for awhile until the pain was gone. I told him I didn’t feel any pain, just soreness and some discomfort. He looked at Chuck and said “miracle two”. Dr. B said with the incision going from belly button to pubic bone, 13″ cut from the colon, organs being moved around and biopsied I should have been in some major pain, but instead I felt like I’d had a hard workout!
That leads me to another point – one that goes back a year before I was diagnosed. During that previous year Chuck and I worked out daily either weight training or cardio workouts and I was at the yoga studio almost daily too. I was in the best shape of my life and I know that is one reason the recovery went so well. God got me in shape beforehand to handle it! I remember three days before my diagnosis, I was on my way to a yoga class feeling down, no particular reason why just feeling bummed and out of sorts. At the end of class when we have a time of quiet I began praying for God to help me with this emotional state I was in. I prayed, “I don’t know why I feel this way, but Lord help me to lean on you.” God spoke two words to me – trust me! I began silently crying and at that moment I knew no matter what I was feeling that day I could trust God to see me through and three days later I was told I had cancer.
Remembering His words helped me to face what was happening with a strength only He could give me. Honestly if it were up to me I probably would have had more “why me’s”, but instead God’s grace was sufficient to see me through this trial.
(Go to Part XI)