– according to dictionary.com it is an “abnormal fear of or distaste for uncleanliness or contamination” and I believe I have a slight case of it.  Back in the States I disinfected just about everything in my house…door knobs, telephones, keyboards, hands etc. and I attempt to do the same thing here in Kenya.  However, living here during the dry season makes for an extremely dusty environment and efforts to keep things clean are difficult to say the least.

This “condition” also makes traveling a difficult endeavor for me and something I’m struggling with right now.  I hate to always compare “back in the States” but that is what I grew up with and became accustomed to for 47 years so…back in the States I loved traveling.  Getting in the truck and heading out, stopping along the way at various truck stops for potty breaks, snacks or just to stretch our legs.  Finding a hole in the wall eating establishment and trying the local fare.

In Kenya, not so much.  First the roads are full of pot holes and makes for a very uncomfortable ride and makes me car sick.  No rest stops along the way (that I’ve seen) – I’ve witnessed enough guys using the side of the road to last a lifetime so I usually make sure I go before we leave and pray we get to our destination before I really have to go again.  (sorry if that was way too much info!)  Eating along the way consists of what I carry and then waiting until we reach our destination to eat, not really an issue just another difference.

All that said we don’t just get in the truck and head out here, we have a specific place we are heading and know what to expect once there.  But it looks like we may be traveling to unknown areas in November (I know that’s a long way off but believe me I may need that long to allow God to get the idea in my head and heart that it is something I must do).  What food will be there?  Will I be able to buy bottled water?  Toilet facilities?  Sleeping quarters?  These questions and more are already making me anxious and I’ve been praying for peace and direction in this area.

And one morning I got hit between the eyes when reading my devotional…

You must refuse to consult your own case and well-being. You must be crucified, not only in desires and habits which are sinful, but in many more which appear innocent and right.

If you would bear much fruit, you must be buried in darkness and solitude.

Am I justifying not going because it appears to be “innocent and right”?  I admit, this is a tough one for me.  Sometimes I feel like a little kid stamping my feet, saying “I don’t want to go!”  But today I’m praying these promises from God while He chips away the disobedience I feel right now –

Deuteronomy 28:1 If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth.

John 14:23 Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him

Exodus 23:25 Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you

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