(Read Part VII)
Chuck was still on his fast, but honestly I had no idea he was fasting. My mind seemed numb to anything happening around me except dealing with cancer and all that encompasses – blood work, prep, mentally preparing, talking with the kids and coming to grips with mortality. God did give me peace, but I’m human and yes I cried some, however I don’t ever remember asking God “why me?” That’s never been a trait of mine, I’ve always figured if I’m going through something difficult God must be trying to teach me something from it. My way of dealing with it is to pray, deal with it (sometimes not so well, others better because I’ve relied on the Holy Spirit) and meditate on what I have to learn from it.
Not to get too graphic, but I’m sure the weekend was spent in the bathroom, what with the surgery on Monday and doing the prep all weekend! There isn’t much I really remember about that weekend except reading through the book Dr. B gave me (see Part IV for that information) and still struggling with the fact I had cancer. I just couldn’t seem to wrap my mind around it and honestly I wanted the surgery to be done and over with.
Monday finally rolled around and Chuck and I were on our way to the hospital. I know many people may get a bit freaked out about surgery, but for me it was the prep before surgery – with all the needles and iv’s, the way I saw it I’ll be knocked out for the surgery so that part never really bothered me, but the needles – yuck!
Surgery began and Chuck was in the waiting area with my mom and sister. Since I was a little out of it this next part of the story is Chucks, but I’ll relay it from what he’s told me.
As he was sitting in the waiting room he said he never felt weak or hungry during this fast. He felt God’s presence in such a tangible way and knew the God of the universe had spoken to him, telling him this brush with cancer had nothing to do with disease (and by the way would be over never to return). It had all to do with getting our attention, showing us he (Chuck) has no control over life, but needed to submit totally to the Lord and know life was all about Him and His glory.
(Go to Part IX)